we are not alone

[s***@gmail.com]

https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

[Lord Valve]

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

WE might not be, but YOU certainly are - nobody in
his right mind would play ridiculous shit like that
and call it music, or call himself a pianist.

Don't worry, it's almost the end of the month;
Uncle Sugar will be reloading your EBT card
soon - on the backs of people who work for a
living, guys like me - and you'll be able to
cop something to mute your insane urges for a
time. Do you run the old Chicago hustle of
standing outside the supermarket and offering
a 50% discount on groceries? YOU know, the one
where you go in with the duDe/broad's shopping
list, buy everything with your EBT card and
then get paid half of the register ticket in
cash, so you can go score dope with it? It's
such a hassle; keep voting for communist fucks
like Alexia Occasional-Cortex or Killary
and O'Butthole and I'm sure they'll eventually
push through legislation that will allow you
to use your EBT for direct dope purchases - after
all, why discriminate? Dopers have feelings, too...


Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (fuck you)

M A G A !

Q+ - WWG1WGA - Q

III

[Defiant]

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

Only thing worse than a crab on the organ is de Shart
on a piano...

[Lord Valve]

Post by Defiant

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

Only thing worse than a crab on the organ is de Shart
on a piano...

I've been playing the Hammond for 58 years.
There's a moderate possibility that I've
heard every organ joke ever devised. In
fact, I may have come up with a few myself.
Sorry, that one ain't new. It's still good,
though. ;-)

Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (let me pull the Skinflute stop so
I can play a tune for Danny Boy...
he'll recognize that sound immediately)

Fun organ fact: The reason stops are called
"stops" is that they stop the flow of air to
a specific rank of pipes when they are pushed
in. When a pipe organ gets really old, sometimes
the stops leak, and you get ghostly sounds
coming from random pipes. Oddly enough, Hammond
organs produce a similar thing called "generator
hash," caused by electrical leakage. Generator
hash, once thought to be a defect, turned out
to be necessary for authentic tone when digital
clones were being designed...as did hum, key
click, etc. Sine waves are very easy to generate,
whether with oscillators, mechanical tonewheels,
or digitally. It turned out that the key to making
a believable Hammond clone was to reproduce the
*defects*, including tube distortion and shot noise.
Today's flagship clone from Hammond, the XK5, is
damn near perfect. Even experienced Hammond players
can't hear the difference unless they're looking
at one. ;-) (I have one, BTW. I love it.) The
nerds who designed it even included an adjustable
parameter for hysteresis in the mixing transformer
that combined the signal from the two keyboards on
the analog instruments. SICK!

Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (nerd)

[Defiant]

Post by Lord Valve

Post by Defiant

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

Only thing worse than a crab on the organ is de Shart
on a piano...

I've been playing the Hammond for 58 years.
There's a moderate possibility that I've
heard every organ joke ever devised. In
fact, I may have come up with a few myself.
Sorry, that one ain't new. It's still good,
though. ;-)

I never claimed to be original :-) However, I'm sure the
"de Shart on a piano" hasn't been done before :-D

Post by Lord Valve
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (let me pull the Skinflute stop so
I can play a tune for Danny Boy...
he'll recognize that sound immediately)
Fun organ fact: The reason stops are called
"stops" is that they stop the flow of air to
a specific rank of pipes when they are pushed
in. When a pipe organ gets really old, sometimes
the stops leak, and you get ghostly sounds
coming from random pipes. Oddly enough, Hammond
organs produce a similar thing called "generator
hash," caused by electrical leakage. Generator
hash, once thought to be a defect, turned out
to be necessary for authentic tone when digital
clones were being designed...as did hum, key
click, etc. Sine waves are very easy to generate,
whether with oscillators, mechanical tonewheels,
or digitally. It turned out that the key to making
a believable Hammond clone was to reproduce the
*defects*, including tube distortion and shot noise.
Today's flagship clone from Hammond, the XK5, is
damn near perfect. Even experienced Hammond players
can't hear the difference unless they're looking
at one. ;-) (I have one, BTW. I love it.) The
nerds who designed it even included an adjustable
parameter for hysteresis in the mixing transformer
that combined the signal from the two keyboards on
the analog instruments. SICK!
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (nerd)

That's great info that I never knew, not being an organist.
The only thing left to emulate is the smell of hot tubes
and old electronics :-)

Thank you!

[Lord Valve]

Post by Defiant

Post by Lord Valve

Post by Defiant

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

Only thing worse than a crab on the organ is de Shart
on a piano...

I've been playing the Hammond for 58 years.
There's a moderate possibility that I've
heard every organ joke ever devised. In
fact, I may have come up with a few myself.
Sorry, that one ain't new. It's still good,
though. ;-)

I never claimed to be original :-) However, I'm sure the
"de Shart on a piano" hasn't been done before :-D

Post by Lord Valve
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (let me pull the Skinflute stop so
I can play a tune for Danny Boy...
he'll recognize that sound immediately)
Fun organ fact: The reason stops are called
"stops" is that they stop the flow of air to
a specific rank of pipes when they are pushed
in. When a pipe organ gets really old, sometimes
the stops leak, and you get ghostly sounds
coming from random pipes. Oddly enough, Hammond
organs produce a similar thing called "generator
hash," caused by electrical leakage. Generator
hash, once thought to be a defect, turned out
to be necessary for authentic tone when digital
clones were being designed...as did hum, key
click, etc. Sine waves are very easy to generate,
whether with oscillators, mechanical tonewheels,
or digitally. It turned out that the key to making
a believable Hammond clone was to reproduce the
*defects*, including tube distortion and shot noise.
Today's flagship clone from Hammond, the XK5, is
damn near perfect. Even experienced Hammond players
can't hear the difference unless they're looking
at one. ;-) (I have one, BTW. I love it.) The
nerds who designed it even included an adjustable
parameter for hysteresis in the mixing transformer
that combined the signal from the two keyboards on
the analog instruments. SICK!
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (nerd)

That's great info that I never knew, not being an organist.
The only thing left to emulate is the smell of hot tubes
and old electronics :-)

Old Hammonds (we call them "oilers") actually
do have a smell - from tone generator oil.
When the organ gets hot from the tubes, you
can smell it. It's not at all unpleasant.

LV

[Defiant]

Post by Lord Valve

Post by Defiant

Post by Lord Valve

Post by Defiant

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

Only thing worse than a crab on the organ is de Shart
on a piano...

I've been playing the Hammond for 58 years.
There's a moderate possibility that I've
heard every organ joke ever devised. In
fact, I may have come up with a few myself.
Sorry, that one ain't new. It's still good,
though. ;-)

I never claimed to be original :-) However, I'm sure the
"de Shart on a piano" hasn't been done before :-D

Post by Lord Valve
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (let me pull the Skinflute stop so
I can play a tune for Danny Boy...
he'll recognize that sound immediately)
Fun organ fact: The reason stops are called
"stops" is that they stop the flow of air to
a specific rank of pipes when they are pushed
in. When a pipe organ gets really old, sometimes
the stops leak, and you get ghostly sounds
coming from random pipes. Oddly enough, Hammond
organs produce a similar thing called "generator
hash," caused by electrical leakage. Generator
hash, once thought to be a defect, turned out
to be necessary for authentic tone when digital
clones were being designed...as did hum, key
click, etc. Sine waves are very easy to generate,
whether with oscillators, mechanical tonewheels,
or digitally. It turned out that the key to making
a believable Hammond clone was to reproduce the
*defects*, including tube distortion and shot noise.
Today's flagship clone from Hammond, the XK5, is
damn near perfect. Even experienced Hammond players
can't hear the difference unless they're looking
at one. ;-) (I have one, BTW. I love it.) The
nerds who designed it even included an adjustable
parameter for hysteresis in the mixing transformer
that combined the signal from the two keyboards on
the analog instruments. SICK!
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (nerd)

That's great info that I never knew, not being an organist.
The only thing left to emulate is the smell of hot tubes
and old electronics :-)

Old Hammonds (we call them "oilers") actually
do have a smell - from tone generator oil.
When the organ gets hot from the tubes, you
can smell it. It's not at all unpleasant.
LV

My grandfather had a Hammond when I was very younh. I still vaguely recall
the aroma :-)

[s***@gmail.com]

Post by Lord Valve

Post by Defiant

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/we-are-not-alone

Only thing worse than a crab on the organ is de Shart
on a piano...

I've been playing the Hammond for 58 years.
There's a moderate possibility that I've
heard every organ joke ever devised. In
fact, I may have come up with a few myself.
Sorry, that one ain't new. It's still good,
though. ;-)
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (let me pull the Skinflute stop so
I can play a tune for Danny Boy...
he'll recognize that sound immediately)
Fun organ fact: The reason stops are called
"stops" is that they stop the flow of air to
a specific rank of pipes when they are pushed
in. When a pipe organ gets really old, sometimes
the stops leak, and you get ghostly sounds
coming from random pipes. Oddly enough, Hammond
organs produce a similar thing called "generator
hash," caused by electrical leakage. Generator
hash, once thought to be a defect, turned out
to be necessary for authentic tone when digital
clones were being designed...as did hum, key
click, etc. Sine waves are very easy to generate,
whether with oscillators, mechanical tonewheels,
or digitally. It turned out that the key to making
a believable Hammond clone was to reproduce the
*defects*, including tube distortion and shot noise.
Today's flagship clone from Hammond, the XK5, is
damn near perfect. Even experienced Hammond players
can't hear the difference unless they're looking
at one. ;-) (I have one, BTW. I love it.) The
nerds who designed it even included an adjustable
parameter for hysteresis in the mixing transformer
that combined the signal from the two keyboards on
the analog instruments. SICK!
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (nerd)

[Lord Valve]

Post by s***@gmail.com
http://youtu.be/afXKOt3A0xc

Yeah, that's gotta be authentic. I mean, in
the interest of intelligibility, which should
be vital in a communique from Vrillon of the
Ashtar Galactic Command, use of electronic
echo is mandatory. Low-frequency pulsations
in the background add gravitas to the message,
and the fact that Vrillon has a British accent
is merely icing on the Galactic cake. No doubt
about it, this is the real deal - I'll get busy
dismantling my nukes this afternoon. I'd do it
right now, but I need to go shopping first. My
hat is worn out and I'm all out of aluminium
foil. (Note Vrillon-approved British spelling.)
More messages will be forthcoming, but in light
of technological advances made through the use
of information gleaned from reverse-engineering
electronics contained in crashed alien spacecraft
at Area 51, further communication will be via
cellphone. Text "KKKRACKKKPOT" TO 666-666-666
to register your phone for the update service.
These messages, however, will be encrypted. A
Secret Decoder Ring will be required to decipher
them. Please send $1.99 in cash plus three
Captain Crunch Cereal box-tops to Uplink Interrupt
Productions, 1060 W Addison St, Chicago, IL 60613.
Delivery may take up to three weeks.

Bonus points for anyone who knows why the box-tops
have to be from Captain Crunch Cereal.

DISCLAIMER: This post represents the
opinions of the author and nothing more.
Your mileage may vary. Tax, tags, title
and monitor not included. Do not fold,
staple, spindle, or mutilate. Not for
consumption by pets or small children,
or adults of similar intelligence.
Statements have not been evaluated by
the FDA. Not intended to cure any
disease or other medical condition.
Ingestion may cause heartburn or mental
distress. Kiss my ass if you don't like it.
Have a Nice Fuckin' Day!

Yours in Galactic Solidarity,
Klaatu Barada Nikto, Esq. (BEM)

[s***@gmail.com]

Post by Lord Valve

Post by s***@gmail.com
http://youtu.be/afXKOt3A0xc

Yeah, that's gotta be authentic. I mean, in
the interest of intelligibility, which should
be vital in a communique from Vrillon of the
Ashtar Galactic Command, use of electronic
echo is mandatory. Low-frequency pulsations
in the background add gravitas to the message,
and the fact that Vrillon has a British accent
is merely icing on the Galactic cake. No doubt
about it, this is the real deal - I'll get busy
dismantling my nukes this afternoon. I'd do it
right now, but I need to go shopping first. My
hat is worn out and I'm all out of aluminium
foil. (Note Vrillon-approved British spelling.)
More messages will be forthcoming, but in light
of technological advances made through the use
of information gleaned from reverse-engineering
electronics contained in crashed alien spacecraft
at Area 51, further communication will be via
cellphone. Text "KKKRACKKKPOT" TO 666-666-666
to register your phone for the update service.
These messages, however, will be encrypted. A
Secret Decoder Ring will be required to decipher
them. Please send $1.99 in cash plus three
Captain Crunch Cereal box-tops to Uplink Interrupt
Productions, 1060 W Addison St, Chicago, IL 60613.
Delivery may take up to three weeks.
Bonus points for anyone who knows why the box-tops
have to be from Captain Crunch Cereal.
DISCLAIMER: This post represents the
opinions of the author and nothing more.
Your mileage may vary. Tax, tags, title
and monitor not included. Do not fold,
staple, spindle, or mutilate. Not for
consumption by pets or small children,
or adults of similar intelligence.
Statements have not been evaluated by
the FDA. Not intended to cure any
disease or other medical condition.
Ingestion may cause heartburn or mental
distress. Kiss my ass if you don't like it.
Have a Nice Fuckin' Day!
Yours in Galactic Solidarity,
Klaatu Barada Nikto, Esq. (BEM)