new music

[s***@gmail.com]

https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/album/danstearns-crop-circles
for percussion and sacred geometry

https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

Piano study in just intonation
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

[Lord Valve]

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/album/danstearns-crop-circles
for percussion and sacred geometry

That shit sounds like the drum circle in
Denver's Civic Center Park, or the way it
*will* sound the day after the leftwing
fools in this city legalize magic mushrooms.
(I'm NOT kidding.) This is fucking NOISE, and
every track (most of the tracks are titled
"CC" plus a 1-digit number, which is all of
them save one) sounds the same - you can skip
randomly around in the sound files and no
matter where you go: crap. Stupid-sounding
crap, as I said, like the shit you can hear
in any city park drum circle. You expect
people to pay *money* for shit like that?
Tell me - were you dropped on your fuckin'
head when you were little?

It's POO!

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav
Piano study in just intonation
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

"This track was not found. Maybe it has been removed — Learn more"

Unfortunately, I happened to log onto that one
six minutes after you posted it, before you
thought better of it and gave it the axe. And,
as I expected when I saw that it was a piano
"performance," it was fucking GARBAGE.

DUDE -

You CANNOT play the fucking piano. Stop trying.
You play the piano worse than I play the guitar,
and I am the worst guitar player on this planet.
You *stink*. Smacking handfuls of random keys
on a piano that was tuned by a deaf person is
NOT playing the piano. Aren't you embarrassed?
Aren't you afraid that someone (like me) who is
a competent keyboardist will hear that tripe and
take you to task for being a fucking POSER? I can
play better than that wearing boxing gloves, drunk
and facing the wrong way around. Ten fucking
minutes of absolutely sour, smelly, bugfuck crazy
cacophony. Damn!

Have you no fucking SHAME? STOP DOING THAT! It
takes ten thousand hours to achieve competence
on keys, and you sound like you've put in maybe
three or four hours, tops.

Grow the fuck up, Dan.

Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (skilled!)

[Lord Valve]

Post by Lord Valve

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/album/danstearns-crop-circles
for percussion and sacred geometry

That shit sounds like the drum circle in
Denver's Civic Center Park, or the way it
*will* sound the day after the leftwing
fools in this city legalize magic mushrooms.
(I'm NOT kidding.) This is fucking NOISE, and
every track (most of the tracks are titled
"CC" plus a 1-digit number, which is all of
them save one) sounds the same - you can skip
randomly around in the sound files and no
matter where you go: crap. Stupid-sounding
crap, as I said, like the shit you can hear
in any city park drum circle. You expect
people to pay *money* for shit like that?
Tell me - were you dropped on your fuckin'
head when you were little?
It's POO!

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav
Piano study in just intonation
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

"This track was not found. Maybe it has been removed — Learn more"
Unfortunately, I happened to log onto that one
six minutes after you posted it, before you
thought better of it and gave it the axe. And,
as I expected when I saw that it was a piano
"performance," it was fucking GARBAGE.
DUDE -
You CANNOT play the fucking piano. Stop trying.
You play the piano worse than I play the guitar,
and I am the worst guitar player on this planet.
You *stink*. Smacking handfuls of random keys
on a piano that was tuned by a deaf person is
NOT playing the piano. Aren't you embarrassed?
Aren't you afraid that someone (like me) who is
a competent keyboardist will hear that tripe and
take you to task for being a fucking POSER? I can
play better than that wearing boxing gloves, drunk
and facing the wrong way around. Ten fucking
minutes of absolutely sour, smelly, bugfuck crazy
cacophony. Damn!
Have you no fucking SHAME? STOP DOING THAT! It
takes ten thousand hours to achieve competence
on keys, and you sound like you've put in maybe
three or four hours, tops.
Grow the fuck up, Dan.
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (skilled!)

OK, I found it elsewhere in his rat's nest:

https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgiza

Beware - this sonic turd is 9:56 long; you
must be made of stern (pun intended) stuff
to endure the whole thing. If you try it,
you'll find yourself turning the volume down
little by little to get away from the suck.
I'm sure you'll find that it's every bit as
rotten as I said it was above. This is headache
shit, folks. See if I'm lyin'.

<puke>

Lord Valve, Thd
Keyboardist (skilled)

[s***@gmail.com]

Post by s***@gmail.com

Post by Lord Valve

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/album/danstearns-crop-circles
for percussion and sacred geometry

That shit sounds like the drum circle in
Denver's Civic Center Park, or the way it
*will* sound the day after the leftwing
fools in this city legalize magic mushrooms.
(I'm NOT kidding.) This is fucking NOISE, and
every track (most of the tracks are titled
"CC" plus a 1-digit number, which is all of
them save one) sounds the same - you can skip
randomly around in the sound files and no
matter where you go: crap. Stupid-sounding
crap, as I said, like the shit you can hear
in any city park drum circle. You expect
people to pay *money* for shit like that?
Tell me - were you dropped on your fuckin'
head when you were little?
It's POO!

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav
Piano study in just intonation
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

"This track was not found. Maybe it has been removed — Learn more"
Unfortunately, I happened to log onto that one
six minutes after you posted it, before you
thought better of it and gave it the axe. And,
as I expected when I saw that it was a piano
"performance," it was fucking GARBAGE.
DUDE -
You CANNOT play the fucking piano. Stop trying.
You play the piano worse than I play the guitar,
and I am the worst guitar player on this planet.
You *stink*. Smacking handfuls of random keys
on a piano that was tuned by a deaf person is
NOT playing the piano. Aren't you embarrassed?
Aren't you afraid that someone (like me) who is
a competent keyboardist will hear that tripe and
take you to task for being a fucking POSER? I can
play better than that wearing boxing gloves, drunk
and facing the wrong way around. Ten fucking
minutes of absolutely sour, smelly, bugfuck crazy
cacophony. Damn!
Have you no fucking SHAME? STOP DOING THAT! It
takes ten thousand hours to achieve competence
on keys, and you sound like you've put in maybe
three or four hours, tops.
Grow the fuck up, Dan.
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (skilled!)

https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgiza
Beware - this sonic turd is 9:56 long; you
must be made of stern (pun intended) stuff
to endure the whole thing. If you try it,
you'll find yourself turning the volume down
little by little to get away from the suck.
I'm sure you'll find that it's every bit as
rotten as I said it was above. This is headache
shit, folks. See if I'm lyin'.
<puke>
Lord Valve, Thd
Keyboardist (skilled)

https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/track/cooper

[Defiant]

Post by s***@gmail.com

Post by s***@gmail.com

Post by Lord Valve

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/album/danstearns-crop-circles
for percussion and sacred geometry

That shit sounds like the drum circle in
Denver's Civic Center Park, or the way it
*will* sound the day after the leftwing
fools in this city legalize magic mushrooms.
(I'm NOT kidding.) This is fucking NOISE, and
every track (most of the tracks are titled
"CC" plus a 1-digit number, which is all of
them save one) sounds the same - you can skip
randomly around in the sound files and no
matter where you go: crap. Stupid-sounding
crap, as I said, like the shit you can hear
in any city park drum circle. You expect
people to pay *money* for shit like that?
Tell me - were you dropped on your fuckin'
head when you were little?
It's POO!

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav
Piano study in just intonation
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

"This track was not found. Maybe it has been removed — Learn more"
Unfortunately, I happened to log onto that one
six minutes after you posted it, before you
thought better of it and gave it the axe. And,
as I expected when I saw that it was a piano
"performance," it was fucking GARBAGE.
DUDE -
You CANNOT play the fucking piano. Stop trying.
You play the piano worse than I play the guitar,
and I am the worst guitar player on this planet.
You *stink*. Smacking handfuls of random keys
on a piano that was tuned by a deaf person is
NOT playing the piano. Aren't you embarrassed?
Aren't you afraid that someone (like me) who is
a competent keyboardist will hear that tripe and
take you to task for being a fucking POSER? I can
play better than that wearing boxing gloves, drunk
and facing the wrong way around. Ten fucking
minutes of absolutely sour, smelly, bugfuck crazy
cacophony. Damn!
Have you no fucking SHAME? STOP DOING THAT! It
takes ten thousand hours to achieve competence
on keys, and you sound like you've put in maybe
three or four hours, tops.
Grow the fuck up, Dan.
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (skilled!)

https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgiza
Beware - this sonic turd is 9:56 long; you
must be made of stern (pun intended) stuff
to endure the whole thing. If you try it,
you'll find yourself turning the volume down
little by little to get away from the suck.
I'm sure you'll find that it's every bit as
rotten as I said it was above. This is headache
shit, folks. See if I'm lyin'.
<puke>
Lord Valve, Thd
Keyboardist (skilled)

https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/track/cooper

Is that supposed to be better? It sounds like you were
holding a rabid raccoon by the nuts on top of your axe.
Seriously, that shit is putrid. <fart>

[Lord Valve]

On Tuesday, March 26, 2019 at 1:54:49 AM UTC-6, ***@gmail.com wrote:
<snip>

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/track/cooper

Whew! Damn. Lord, that is pure distilled
SHEEEEEE-IT! OK, maybe I just don't get it.
Is there meaning here? Is this...something?
Tell me...I hear a halfway-decent rhythm
section behind all that snarling tuneless wankery
you laid down; was that previously recorded,
or band-in-a-box, or...old vinyl discs, "Music
Minus One," an early attempt at practice tracks?
Because if those guys were actually present and
playing the backup in the same room at the same
time you were playing, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET
THOSE POOR MOTHERFUCKERS TO SIT STILL WHILE YOU
POURED YOUR RANCID PUKE ALL OVER THEIR EFFORTS?
You couldn't PAY *me* to do a session like that,
even if I was broke, the rent was due, the fridge
was empty and my car was in the shop. No way Jose,
way Jose, no how, fuck THAT.

You are having us on, right? Shades of Jarl Sigurd,
or maybe it's accidental, like "Plan 9 from Outer
Space." Ed Wood, yeah, that's the ticket. Say - do
you wear cashmere sweaters, by any chance? Got a
set of falsies in your closet? I'm at a loss...how
do you present shit like that to a forum populated
by accomplished musicians and claim it is music?

Fuck!

OK. I'm going to send this link to a lady I know
in D.C., a classically-trained musician of considerable
skill and experience. (Like me, she is 70+.) She has
been the harpist (not the only instrument she plays,
but her main one) for the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra,
and she has played literally *everything* under the sun.
She reads music as easily as you watch cartoons. (Don't
tell me you don't. ALL whackjobs are into cartoons...)
I'm just going to ask her for her opinion. I'm not going
to tell her who you are, or what this brouhaha is all
about. I'm not going to include any text with the link
other than this: "What do you think of this?" Let's
see what she has to say.

Lord Valve, ThD
Flabbergasted

[Lord Valve]

Post by Lord Valve
<snip>

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/track/cooper

Whew! Damn. Lord, that is pure distilled
SHEEEEEE-IT! OK, maybe I just don't get it.
Is there meaning here? Is this...something?
Tell me...I hear a halfway-decent rhythm
section behind all that snarling tuneless wankery
you laid down; was that previously recorded,
or band-in-a-box, or...old vinyl discs, "Music
Minus One," an early attempt at practice tracks?
Because if those guys were actually present and
playing the backup in the same room at the same
time you were playing, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET
THOSE POOR MOTHERFUCKERS TO SIT STILL WHILE YOU
POURED YOUR RANCID PUKE ALL OVER THEIR EFFORTS?
You couldn't PAY *me* to do a session like that,
even if I was broke, the rent was due, the fridge
was empty and my car was in the shop. No way Jose,
way Jose, no how, fuck THAT.
You are having us on, right? Shades of Jarl Sigurd,
or maybe it's accidental, like "Plan 9 from Outer
Space." Ed Wood, yeah, that's the ticket. Say - do
you wear cashmere sweaters, by any chance? Got a
set of falsies in your closet? I'm at a loss...how
do you present shit like that to a forum populated
by accomplished musicians and claim it is music?
Fuck!
OK. I'm going to send this link to a lady I know
in D.C., a classically-trained musician of considerable
skill and experience. (Like me, she is 70+.) She has
been the harpist (not the only instrument she plays,
but her main one) for the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra,
and she has played literally *everything* under the sun.
She reads music as easily as you watch cartoons. (Don't
tell me you don't. ALL whackjobs are into cartoons...)
I'm just going to ask her for her opinion. I'm not going
to tell her who you are, or what this brouhaha is all
about. I'm not going to include any text with the link
other than this: "What do you think of this?" Let's
see what she has to say.
Lord Valve, ThD
Flabbergasted

So, here's her commentary. Be aware that she is a
refined lady, not given to hyperbole. Her take on
critiquing amateur (that's you, junior) musical
efforts tends to be dry and spare. Here ya go:

"Can’t say I was a fan of the music clip. The
guitarist seems capable, but there was too much
chaos going on for the sake of chaos. A lot of
notes but it didn’t go anywhere."

Yeah - she summed you up *perfectly* - everything
you've ever played is just like that. So, do this:
Look downward. Do you see that withered round thing
you're holding in your hands? That's your ASS, son.
Wake up and realize that you've had it handed to
you yet again, and crawl back into your sour little
hole.

Just shut up. You suck. Hit the woodshed.


Lord Valve, ThD
Expert (fuck you)

[Defiant]

Post by s***@gmail.com

Post by Lord Valve

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://danstearns.bandcamp.com/album/danstearns-crop-circles
for percussion and sacred geometry

That shit sounds like the drum circle in
Denver's Civic Center Park, or the way it
*will* sound the day after the leftwing
fools in this city legalize magic mushrooms.
(I'm NOT kidding.) This is fucking NOISE, and
every track (most of the tracks are titled
"CC" plus a 1-digit number, which is all of
them save one) sounds the same - you can skip
randomly around in the sound files and no
matter where you go: crap. Stupid-sounding
crap, as I said, like the shit you can hear
in any city park drum circle. You expect
people to pay *money* for shit like that?
Tell me - were you dropped on your fuckin'
head when you were little?
It's POO!

Post by s***@gmail.com
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav
Piano study in just intonation
https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgizawav

"This track was not found. Maybe it has been removed — Learn more"
Unfortunately, I happened to log onto that one
six minutes after you posted it, before you
thought better of it and gave it the axe. And,
as I expected when I saw that it was a piano
"performance," it was fucking GARBAGE.
DUDE -
You CANNOT play the fucking piano. Stop trying.
You play the piano worse than I play the guitar,
and I am the worst guitar player on this planet.
You *stink*. Smacking handfuls of random keys
on a piano that was tuned by a deaf person is
NOT playing the piano. Aren't you embarrassed?
Aren't you afraid that someone (like me) who is
a competent keyboardist will hear that tripe and
take you to task for being a fucking POSER? I can
play better than that wearing boxing gloves, drunk
and facing the wrong way around. Ten fucking
minutes of absolutely sour, smelly, bugfuck crazy
cacophony. Damn!
Have you no fucking SHAME? STOP DOING THAT! It
takes ten thousand hours to achieve competence
on keys, and you sound like you've put in maybe
three or four hours, tops.
Grow the fuck up, Dan.
Lord Valve, ThD
Organist (skilled!)

https://soundcloud.com/danstearns/pyramidgiza
Beware - this sonic turd is 9:56 long; you
must be made of stern (pun intended) stuff
to endure the whole thing. If you try it,
you'll find yourself turning the volume down
little by little to get away from the suck.
I'm sure you'll find that it's every bit as
rotten as I said it was above. This is headache
shit, folks. See if I'm lyin'.
<puke>
Lord Valve, Thd
Keyboardist (skilled)

It only took me 15 seconds to turn that shit off. And
it is *SHIT*. <gag>